shark AIDS
cluv: so i’ve never done anything like this why don’t you begin
sextress1: ok. i’m talking to you on the phone as your driving to my house
cluv: am i masturbating in the car?
sextress1: sure.
cluv: that’s unsafe!
sextress1: lol, what evs…you get to my house and i call you upstairs and i’m laying out on the bed.
cluv: i like where this is going
sextress1: do you?
cluv: no.
sextress1: wtf,
cluv: yeaaaah wtfff i’m ready to fff*ck…i unzip my pants….slow like
sextress1: i gently untie my robe
cluv: the door bell rings
sextress1: who is it?
cluv: a cop!
sextress1: nothing’s sexier than a man in uniform, i invite him up
cluv: he ask me why i was driving so erratic on the way here. i tell him that i was talking to you on the phone and masturbating at the same time while driving. i’m arrested for lewd conduct and reckless endangerment.
sextress1: but i ask him if there’s anything i can do as i tickle him with a pink ostrich feather
cluv: he appears to be into it as he undoes his belt.
sextress1: i ask him if he has an extra set of handcuffs to play around with
cluv: he begins to beat me mercilessly with his undone belt, he clearly isn’t into it. your arrested for soliciting sexual bribes and together we owe the state of michigan $15,000 in fines.
sextress1: why?
cluv: turns out the cop is heterophobic, the arraignment cums and we stand before the honorably (and sexy) judge melinda. she calls you a skank and me a pervert, and she says that just how she likes it as the court room breaks out into a mass orgy.
sextress1: it’s raining men!!!
cluv: me and my lawyer slip out and get a mistrial, but you stay for the orgy and contract shark aids.
sextress1: shark aids?
cluv: 1 of only 5 reported cases a year
sextress1: so there’s sharks in the court room orgy? are you retarded
cluv: no, judge melinda already had shark aids she just gave it to you, atleast i don’t have shark aids
sextress1: aids isn’t funny
cluv: yes it is lol where are you from the nineties?
sextress1: hey
cluv: hey your face grandma
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