Only pervs are therapists
Stranger: Greetings my dearest stranger.
Stranger: How are you this fine night?
You: Oh..I'm ok i guess
You: i little sad really. :(
Stranger: Oh?
Stranger: What's the reason?
You: My fish just passed away.
You: I had him for over a year
You: He did tricks
Stranger: I'm terribly sorry to hear that.
Stranger: But as all good things, have a beginning; they all must have an end. That includes trick doing fish, unfortunately. What kind was it?
You: He was the most beautiful fish in the world
You: he looked just like Nemo
Stranger: Adorable.
You: What is your name?
You: I feel like i can trust you
Stranger: Haha, what makes you believe that? You can call me Cain.
Stranger: May I inquire your name?
You: I'm Tiff
You: I dunno. I read your IM's and feel really calm
You: like that time i smoked nutmeg
Stranger: Haha, it's a skill I like to think I have.
Stranger: Calming people, that is.
You: Could you help me forget my woes for a while?
Stranger: Are you normally uptight?
Stranger: Certainly.
You: i've been really stressed
You: I knew he was dying
You: i saw it in his glassy little marble eyes
You: His little eyes.....eyes that said "mommy? why does it hurt so bad? Can't you help me mommy? *cough cough*"
You: why couldn't i help him cain!?
Stranger: Its a dark part in any mother's life.
Stranger: No parent should ever need to bury their child.
You: How can I relax when Mr.Tibbles is sizzling in Hell in Satan's Fry Daddy?!
You: I could have taken him to a vet!
Stranger: Love, listen please.
You: yes?
Stranger: Suffering only gets worse when we try to run from it rather than facing it.
Stranger: There will be times in life when you cannot succeed. Or times when hardship seems about to crush you. Such times are inevitable, yet we should not allow our spirits to be broken by them.
You: ........wow
You: that's deep
You: very deep
You: deep like the 3x3 hole i dug for Mr Tibbles
You: I buried him with his favorite toy.
Stranger: I'm sure Mr. Tibbles is smiling up in his little fish heaven, eating as much food as he wants with hot sleek Koi fish on either side of him.
Stranger: Which is?
You: it's a little embarrassing to say what he played with......
Stranger: I'm sure it isn't at all that bad.
You: It was a little plastic tampon applicator
You: he pushed it around the tank
You: it was so cute
Stranger: Not as bad as what I originally thought.
Stranger: I'm sure it was; and strangely arousing at the same time.
Stranger: What kind of fish was he?
You: I liked to think he liked it cause it smelled like me and he loved me but we just couldn't be together.
You: A clownfish
You: funny
You: i'm not laughing now
Stranger: What could be sadder... Than the death of a clown? Oh cruel God of irony.
You: wait.......did you say it was arousing to imagine my fish playing with my tampon applicator?
Stranger: ... No.
You: Yes you did!I just re-read it!
You: That's sick!
Stranger: I'm terribly sorry if I have offended you.
You: He's dead for 1 hour and you think you have the right to just move in on his woman and try to put the moves on her!!! There's a special place in hell for sickies like you! Right by Satan's fry Daddy where Mr Tibbles is burning! And I hope the boiling grease pops the shit out of you!
Stranger: I...have to go now.
Comments (0)
2436 BCE