Lin Waung
bRaNdON_burNEY: I am a knight in highly ventilated titanium alloid armor. You are a peasant dressed in tattered clothing.
[a305304 is online 10/20/2008 04:46 PM: "I am online"]
a305304: and whats thats suppose to mean mr. knight
bRaNdON_burNEY: I ride west from the sunset, and I spot you from across the field. My eyes are immediately drawn to yours.
a305304: yeah u have my attention
bRaNdON_burNEY: But what you are unaware of is that beneath my heavy mass of unpenetrable armor, I am Lin Waung, the infamous legendary Sorceror.
a305304: What are u getting to...but i like ur ethuasim
bRaNdON_burNEY: And as I ride closer to you, I examine you thoroughly with my trained telepathy. I am able to penetrate your thoughts. And I sense that you want me as much as I want you.
a305304: who are u anyways....because your words are getting to me
bRaNdON_burNEY: I am Lin Waung, the legendary Sorceror.
a305304: No I meant really
bRaNdON_burNEY: I use my X-ray vision, an ultra beam of transparant energy goes forth and I can see through your clothing.
a305304: u perv.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I begin to walk forward... intimadated and provoked by your gorgeous body and curves. You can hear a klunk in my armor. It is Mr. Wibbles getting hard.
a305304: Mr.Wibbles....very original
bRaNdON_burNEY: Are you getting hot?
a305304: a lil
a305304: it would be better if i actually knew who u were
bRaNdON_burNEY: I am Lin Waung, the legendary Sorceror.
a305304: no i meant in real life l0l but u are VERY cute
bRaNdON_burNEY: As I come closer and closer... I begin to smell the heat off of your vagina. I can sense you are in heat.
a305304: do u always have these kinda fantasys
bRaNdON_burNEY: You finally speak. You kneel to your knees, and beg me "Fuck me, Fuck me."
a305304: hey now I dont beg anyone for sex
a305304: even if u are a knight
bRaNdON_burNEY: I am using my telepathy, remember, bitch? I control your fuckin' thoughts you smug little whore.
a305304: u know wut Fuck u....ur an asshole
bRaNdON_burNEY: I'm sorry.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I didn't mean that.
bRaNdON_burNEY: Let's continue.
bRaNdON_burNEY: Ok?
a305304: getting a lil carried away with ur fantasy huh? well how about lets just talk like human beings first then we can fantasise
bRaNdON_burNEY: Tempered by your refusal to engage in sexual operations with I, Lin Wuang the legendary Sorceror, I draw my sword from it's sheath and unleash a Wind Strike on you. You can feel your soul fading from your body..
bRaNdON_burNEY: I pull a fork out of my helmet, and gouge your eyes out.
bRaNdON_burNEY: Then from my boot rests a dagger, I withdraw this blade and decapitate your foul head.
a305304: Dude wow.....i dont know wut to say but FUCKIN CRAZI
bRaNdON_burNEY: Then I fuck the hole in which your head used to rest on your neck. Blood is squirting.  My shiny armor now becauses red and darkened.
bRaNdON_burNEY: Then I use my ancient magicks to cast a Zombie spell on you.
a305304: Are u okay Brandon
bRaNdON_burNEY: You come back to life as a headless zombie.
a305304: Seriously are u always like this
bRaNdON_burNEY: Then I bend you over and spread your ass cheeks. There is shit steadily oozing out of your ass. I take a deep whiff of the foul adore, and repulse in disgust as you let out a low and steady fart which blows chunks of shit all over my helmet.
a305304: Okay bye now ur just a lil to awkard for me
bRaNdON_burNEY: Hold on.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I am sorry.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I didn't mean it.
a305304: if u say so
a305304: are u always mean
bRaNdON_burNEY: I'm mean? You just sharted all over my helmet, you cold, ruthless, brutal person.
a305304: U know what....ur the one making up the fucked up fantasy not me so see ya
bRaNdON_burNEY: I then use my Jedi mind trick to prevent you from leaving.
bRaNdON_burNEY: You are oddly compelled to stay and finish my fantasy as your mind is weak.
a305304: sorry but it dont work over the computer so bye
bRaNdON_burNEY: I begin to fornicate with your dead, rotten, lifeless body.
bRaNdON_burNEY: Ignoring the shit covered walls of your anus.
a305304: yeah bye brandon and to think i thought u were a guy worth talking to
bRaNdON_burNEY: Then, my penis explodes in a mountful combustion of volcanic activity, white gum spews all over the land.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I thin remount my horse.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I dig my spurs into it's sides, and then it raises it's front feet wide into the air!
bRaNdON_burNEY: I operate the stirs so the horse struts over to your body.
bRaNdON_burNEY: I then walk back and forth until your corpse becomes but a rug.
bRaNdON_burNEY: The horses hooves... flattening your flesh... as it tramples you repeatedly...
bRaNdON_burNEY: Hello. Are you there?
a305304: no actually im not i told u bye cuz u were being an azz
bRaNdON_burNEY: I'm sorry. What did I do?
a305304: what havent u dont
a305304: done *
bRaNdON_burNEY: I just pleasured your intense sexual drive. I have done everything for you.
a305304: no sweetie
bRaNdON_burNEY: Evacuate Operation Cyber Sex! *pulls a deku nut out of his pocket, slams it onto the dirt, a bright flash appears, then disappears, and Lin Waung the legendary Sorcerer is no where to be seen*
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2436 BCE