Troll got played.
[It was obvious from the first sentence that I was talking to a troll... So I set him up for a disturbing series of events]
You: hi
Stranger: hey big boy
You: well, hello little lady
You: tell me about yourself
Stranger: i love sex, and all the naughty girl things how bout you?
You: Well I love sex, and getting a girl's naughty things swollen
You: What do you look like?
Stranger: im most famous for my blow jobs
Stranger: i wanna see what you look like first baby
You: Hmmm
You: You have a pic then?
You: I have one of me
Stranger: no i dont do pornos babe im sorry
You: No? not even a clean pic?
Stranger: hold on babe ima find the best one for you
You: alright
You: Here's me, while you're waiting
You: http://xxxx.photobucket.com/albums/xxxx/xxxxxxxxx/xx.jpg
You: A little old, but I haven't really changed too much
You: Can I see you, babe?
Stranger: buttoned
Stranger: hold on baby im lookin keep your jeans buttons
Stranger: i do have one in my sexy bathing suit wanna see?
You: Yeah I do
Stranger: ok ;]
You: Jeans are buttoned
You: but they're not zipped
You: I"m just waitin on you sweetie
You: Baby? You still with me?
You: I wanna see you
Stranger: im sorry babe its not in my bathing suit but its sexy still
Stranger: ##censored## http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=460506652
You: wow you are HOT
Stranger: thank you baby your pretty sexy yourself ;]
You: babe, you're fuckin SMOKING
You: What are you wearin' babe?
Stranger: right now?
You: right now
Stranger: im in my sexiest thong that barly covers my vagina and my sexiest bra that only covers my nipples
You: mmm
Stranger: so wheres your sexy ass from?
You: Mmm I'm from NYC
You: where are you at, babe?
Stranger: im from cali
You: Nice. Sexy california girl
You: Hmm
Stranger: your the sexiest guy ive seen.. you probably have a 10 inch? cuz my pussy can take anything given but i LOVE long ones
You: Hmmm 10 inch?
You: no
You: It's fuckin 11 babe
You: Just shy of the foot mark
You: but it's huge
Stranger: oh thats amazing ive never had that before only 10
Stranger: no guys in cali have a 11"
You: Yeah well. Welcome to the city babe
Stranger: i love the city cuz your in it
You: I don't wanna be in the city
You: I wanna be in a california girl
Stranger: oh your making me wet babe
You: Babe, I'm unbuttoned now
You: I wanna put it in you
You: Rub that pussy down
You: get it real wet for me
You: you doin that babe?
Stranger: yea babe im sooo horny for you
You: Your nips hard babe?
Stranger: oh yea they are
You: Mmm get that top off babe
Stranger: its been off since you said your dick size
You: you want me in you babe?
Stranger: oh yea i want you soooooo bad
You: How wet are you sweety?
You: I'm getting really hard for you
You: tell me how wet you are
Stranger: im so wet fo you babe!!!!! im just imagining that 11" dick in my mouth and all over my body my 34D tittys and my wet pussy and ass
Stranger: it feels good but i really just want it
You: It's getting way up babe
You: Stroke it
Stranger: i am
You: Tell me how you want it
Stranger: everyway
You: Lick it babe
You: tell me how you're licking it
Stranger: very seductively
Stranger: oh yea i have no gag reflex so i can fix your whole dick in my mouth
You: Wow babe. way down your throat
You: Oh that feels good
You: I have a kind of a fetish babe
You: a kink
You: you're gonna like it
You: you wanna try it with me?
Stranger: what is it?
You: I like sticky things babe
Stranger: yea all the way down
You: You wanna try that with me?
You: Keep sucking my cock
Stranger: i like sticky long hard things in my mouth and all over my body
You: But can we try that?
You: Alright babe
Stranger: oh yea we can
You: We're gonna do some sticky things babe
You: I have a bottle of paste
You: I'm pouring it all over your body
You: It's trickling down your breasts
You: Hardening on your nipples
Stranger: hey wait hold on one second
You: I'm fapping my dick in the glue
You: but it's sticking to your tits
Stranger: HOLD ON!
You: I'm smearing gum and peanut butter in your hair
Stranger: THIS IS A GUY YOUVE BEEN FUCKED WITH!!!!!!!
You: I take my stickiest toad out of the aquarium and force it into your mouth
You: Its skin scrapes along your uvula, but you have no gag reflex
You: It ribbits down into your throat
You: and licks the back of your mouth with its extendable tongue
Stranger: YOUVE BEEN FUCKED WITH DUDE THIS IS A GUY!!!!
You: I mash the gum deeper into your hair
You: I keep trying to pull my herpes-riddled cock away from your tits, but it's stuck too tight
You: I begin applying the carpenter's glue to your ass
You: I'm sticking your ass-cheeks together
You: god it's gonna hurt the next time you have to take a shit
You: Take a shit for me babe
You: it's all sticky
You: You're shitting toad slime and wood carpenter's glue
[Your conversational partner has disconnected.]
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2436 BCE
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