Fitness, Pokemon, and Penis Dragons.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Question to discuss:
Do you believe in fitness ?
Stranger: Nope
You: In what?
Stranger: It's just an urban legend
You: What is this "fitness"?
Stranger: No one has ever actually seen "fitnes"
You: Never heard of it..
Stranger: No one knows
You: Is fitness a person?
Stranger: I believe it's the legendary fourth basic flavor of ice cream
You: Or some vile beast that crawled out from the dpths of OP's mother's vagina?
Stranger: Vanilla
Stranger: Chocolate
Stranger: Strawberry
Stranger: ...and fitness
You: That sounds delicious...
You: Damn it Stranger...
You: Now I want ice cream.
Stranger: Legend claims it was better than all three combined
Stranger: I always want ice cream
You: STOP.
You: You're making me want fitness.
Stranger: I want fitness
You: I didn't even know it existed.
Stranger: We should go on a quest
Stranger: To find the legendary fitness
You: It must not really exist, right?
Stranger: Find monsters and stuff
Stranger: Probably a dragon or two
You: That sounds awesome.
Stranger: We'll get swords and armor
Stranger: Talk to wise old men who will warn us about the dangers.
You: Like the stuff from World of Warcraft?
Stranger: Exactly
You: Never played it, but I can try, I guess.
Stranger: (I have no idea what's in WoW either)
You: If it means I can eat fitness... I will do anything.
Stranger: Good
Stranger: No, go grab all the sword you have stored in your shed
You: There are porn ads at the bottom of my screen...
You: What the hell, man?
Stranger: I sent those to you
You: WHY?!
Stranger: Click them
You: Do they have viruses?
Stranger: They aren't actually porn ads
Stranger: They're a cover
Stranger: for too secret info
Stranger: You need this info
Stranger: It'll be vital on our quest
Stranger: Watch the instructional video within the link
You: Very well.
You: Yeah...
You: That's a penis.
You: Really man?
Stranger: Study it that way you know how to defeat it
You: Why would you send me this?
Stranger: Find the weak points
You: Oh, I've defeated it many times.
Stranger: to cut at it
You: With my BARE HANDS.
Stranger: Then ONWARDS!
You: I bet I could even defeat one with one hand tied behind my back.
Stranger: Ooooooooh
Stranger: A challenge indeed
You: Have you ever beat the stuff out of a penis?
You: It's white and slimy. It feels really warm, too.
Stranger: I have...slayed it.
You: Really?
You: Please, teach me.
You: I have slain it before, but it always gets back up.
You: Is there a way to defeat it for good?
Stranger: Ah. That is its life force.
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: There is
You: Please, tell me.
Stranger: You have two options
Stranger: One is easier than the other
Stranger: First option:
You: Are you fighting one right now?
You: You're rather slow at speaking.
Stranger: Take your dagger, a tourniquet, and a first aid kit
Stranger: You know what to do from there.
Stranger: Stop being gross dude
You: Alright, I'm sorry.
Stranger: It's cool bro
Stranger: The second option
Stranger: Learn to control your penis. Any time it rises, you must leave it.
You: Wait, how did we get from "fitness" to Penis Dragons?
Stranger: 30 sec of squats, v-ups, or crunches will kill it.
You: This conversation escalated quickly..
You: Oh, that's very easy indeed.
Stranger: Keep doing all of them until vanquished
Stranger: (It draws the blood out)
Stranger: Oddly enough, we went fom fitness to penis dragon, back to fitness.
Stranger: FULL CIRCLE
You: YEAH!
You: Wow, I feel accomplished.
Stranger: LET US VENTURE FORTH TO ACQUIRE THE FITNESS
You: Wait..
Stranger: What
You: How exactly will we do that?
Stranger: Gyms have historically been centers where people gather to discuss fitness
Stranger: We shall begin there
You: Wow, this conversation has everything. Fitness, video games, penis dragons, and ice cream...
You: Even other people.
Stranger: We're so diverse.
Stranger: High-five bro.
You: Hell yeah!
Stranger: *high-five*
You: *high-five*
You: Alright, then. Now we must make haste to the nearest gym.
Stranger: I think the closest one is in Viridian City
You: (It even has Pokemon, now...)
Stranger: YEA IT DOES
You: YEAH!
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2436 BCE
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